Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Archived Blog Mar 28 2007

March 28, 2007
Just the news again! (I love you Adie!)

Hey guys, this is a blog entry that was written after the day that I am claiming to write it on. I’m just going to talk about news stories, and keep it short, because I have some good stuff in the works. Here we go, assholes!

Dead Cop!

A retired cop shot died of a self-inflicted gun-shot wound today. However, they haven’t determined if it was accidental or suicide. How hard is that to figure out? I mean, did he shoot himself in the leg or something? Was there a note? Was the gun in his mouth? If the gun was in his mouth, I’m gonna have to call that one a suicide.

Subway Snatch!

So there is this robber who would rob women on subway platforms. He would get on the train and stand between the two train cars, then when the train started to pull out of the station, he would lean forward, take some woman’s purse, and then be on his way. The perfect crime, no? Well, it would have been, if the dumbass burglar hadn’t been convicted of that exact same crime at the EXACT SAME STATION twelve years earlier. So, they caught him. And I cared, but barely.

Boo Hoo!

So to make room for the Atlantic Yards, the city wants to tear down the Ward Bread Bakery on Pacific street. No biggie, right? No. Huge biggie. Guess what happened? That’s right, stupid protesters came and said “you can’t tear down that bakery, it’s historic!” Listen, hippies, New York City is a confined space, and we don’t have the resources to keep every abandoned old building that no one cares about until it is torn down. No one’s heard of this bakery, and no one cares about it, and no one cares about you.

Why?

People gathered around some place in Greenwich village to commemorate some sort of 96th anniversary of some fire that killed 146 people. That’s right. 96th anniversary. Who cares anymore? These people would be dead anyway! Are you commemorating Pompeii? Why don’t we commemorate the death of the dinosaurs. Oh, I remember why, because it happened sixty five fucking million years ago!

Sorry, when I started writing this blog entry I stopped before I was finished, and this is the end result. Enjoy it!

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