Archived Blog Nov 29 2006

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I Like Horses

NEXTS

1. Next person you'll kiss:
The cadaver of a recently murdered homeless person.

2. Next movie you want to see:
That movie I want to make about how I killed that homeless person and then kissed their dead body.

3. Next person you want to go out with:
Daniel Craig. He's a hottie!

5. Next time you're going out:
What do you care? You're not invited.

6. Next place you'll take vacation:
Probably prison.

7. Next thing you are going to do after filling this survey out:
Make a mud monkey.

8. Next thing you are going to eat:
A large snifter of horse semen.

9. Next time you plan to be drunk:
Tonight, sadly.

10. Next thing you are going to do outside:
Bury my next hobo victim.

11. Next person you'd like to see fill this out:
No one! It is mine and mine alone!

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LASTS:

1. Last kiss:
My balls.

2. Last person you hugged:
Hobo corpse.

3. Last person you spoke to:
Hobo corpse.

4. Last alcoholic beverage:
Hobo blood. It had a high level of alcohol in it. No surprises there, really.

5. Last movie:
Gay porno.

7. Last person you thought of:
Satan

8. Last school you went to:
DeVry

9. Last person you said I love you to:
Some chick.

10. Last run in with the Law:
Don't want to talk about it. Just watch the 11 o'clock news tonight.

11. Last fight you were in:
The battle for middle earth.

12. Last bar/club/concert/party you went to:
I don't know. Who gives a fuck?

13. Last person you IMed:
I don't have imer, you in-crowd hipster asshole.

14. Last thing you ate:
My own feces.

15. Last thing you saved up money for:
Five dollar blow-job. Took me a couple months.

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FIRSTS:

1. First kiss:
Should be coming soon!

2. First true love:
Drugs

3. First heartbreak:
When I learned that wrestling was fake.

4. First car:
The Model T horseless carriage.

5. First pet:
This fish that committed suicide by eating too much.

6. First computer:
Abacus.

7. First concert:
Something stupid.

8. First alcoholic beverage:
Listerine.

9. First time you stayed out all night:
When I was abandoned at birth and left in a dumpster.

10. First best friend:
Jesus or Satan. I forget who was first.

11. First job:
At this farm, it was my job to keep all the dirt and stuff off of the horse testicles.

12. First school:
Hard fucking knocks man, you know?

13. First movie you watched in a theater:
Harry Potter 5.