Archived Blog Nov 3 2006

Friday, November 03, 2006

Pikachu is Jesus! Category: Quiz/Survey

Who Was the Last Person You....."

1. You hung out with?
My hot, big-tittied girlfriend.

2. Rode in a car with?
A couple FBI agents.

3. Went to the movies with?
My sexy, tight-pussied girlfriend.

4. Went to the mall with?
Eli Whitney

5. You talked on the phone to?
My gorgeous, nice-assed girlfriend.

6. Made you laugh?
Jon Benet Ramsey

7.Last person you told and/or they told you they Loved you?
My wonderful, ball-fondling girlfriend.

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
Well, seeing as I don't suck dick (often), my nose.

2. Be serious or be funny?
You must be the dumbest motherfucker alive. Funny, you fucking idiot.

3. Drink whole or skim milk?
I only drink tit-milk.

4. Die in a fire or get shot?
Get shot, because you didn't specify that I would die. I found a loophole, shit-eater!

5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
What the fuck kind of dumbassed question is this? Am I just surrounded by retards? Hello? Is there anyone intelligent left? Hello?! My parents, you stupid dipshit.

A N S W E R. T R U T H F U L L Y.

1. Do you love anyone special /does anyone special love you?
My goddamned girlfriend! Are you fucking kidding me? Haven't you been reading this survey? Goddamnit!

2. Sun or moon?
Well, seeing as the Sun provides all life to the planet and is basically the creator of myself, you, and everyone else, while the moon does jack shit, I would say the sun, dickface.

3. Winter or Fall?
I guess I would prefer Winter. I like it when other people are miserable. Also, it's easier to hide hobo bodies.

4. left or right?
I am right handed, but I lean towards the left politically. Now don't you feel like an asshole for asking a stupid question?

5. 10 acquaintances or two best friends?
Again, was this survey written by a retarded gorilla? No, it couldn't be. It must have been a drunk, retarded gorilla.

6. Sunny or rainy?
Again, when other people are miserable, I'm happy. Let's go with the rain on this one. By the way, fuck you!

7. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
Only Nazis prefer Vanilla. You hear that, you fucking Nazis?

A B O U T . Y O U.

1. What time is it?
11:24am, November 3, 2006 AD.

2. First Name?:
Suck my fucking cock.

3. Where do you wanna live?
Inside my penis.

4. How many kids do you want?
As many as possible. I want to create a small army to do my bidding.

5. Do you want to get married?
No thanks, I'm taken. But thanks for asking.

6. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Spaghetti is for faggots. Everyone knows it. And, to answer your question, I slurp each strand individually until I am either kissing lady or the tramp.

7. Have you ever eaten spam?
I've eaten sperm a million times. Wait, spam? Oh, yeah. I've had it once or twice.

8. Favorite ice cream?
Does anyone really give a fuck what the answer to this question is?

9. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
Zero, you assuming piece of shit.

10. Do you cook?
Only dead hobo-limbs.

11. Current mood?
Suck my balls.

IN . THE. LAST. 48 HOURS. HAVE. YOU.

1. Kissed some one?
Yup. My girlfriend and then that Asian tranny.

2. Sang?
Yup. To my girlfriend and then some Asian tranny.

3. been hugged?
Oh yeah. By my girlfriend and then this weird Asian tranny.

4. Felt stupid?
NEVER!

5. missed someone?
Yeah, my girlfriend. Not so much the Asian tranny.

6. Danced Crazy?
Eat shit, asshole.

8. Gotten your hair cut?
I haven't gotten my goddamned hair cut in six fucking months.

9. Cried?
Crying's only good for bringing pokemon back to life. [For an in-depth analysis of this phenomen, see Pokémon: The First Movie (1999)]

10. Lied:
Only to that hobo when I said I wouldn't murder him.