Archived Blog Oct 23 2006

Monday, October 23, 2006
Same survey again! Fuck my ass! (different answers)
The Dirty Thirty... 30 unknown facts about yourself:

1. What does your MySpace headline mean?
It means I'm not gay! Why does everyone keep thinking that I am?

2. Elaborate on your default photo:
I'm giving myself bunny ears. That's my genius idea, I came up with it. Don't steal it, or I will take a dump in the upper part of your toilet, so when it flushes, it gets filled with dump.

3. What's your middle name[s]?:
Spencer.

4. What is your current relationship status?
I have a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend with big titties.

5. What are you wearing right now?
A standard NASA issued space-suit. It's a real bitch typing right now.

6. What is your current problem?
My life is a complete failure.

7. Who do you love most?
Osama bin Laden

8. Who makes you most happy?
Hobos, because they let me murder them.

9. Are you musically talented?
Very much so. I would elaborate, but you would probably be too interested.

10. If you could go back in time, and change one thing, what would you change?
Time is a whole, according to special and general relativity. Thus, any change that you can make is part of time, and always has been. Thus, there is no such way to change an event that just is. That is to say, if one went back in time, they would have to change events such that, in the future, they would have to go back in time again to change the same thing. If they don't change events to do that, then there was no purpose for them to go back in time in the first place, so they never did it. If they do change something, then it was always like that, and therefore, going back in time was already part of the fabric of time itself. Thus, there is no way to change anything, you ass-fucking piece of shit!

11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would it be?
Tapeworm

12. Ever have a near death experience?
My whole fucking life is a near-death experience.

13. Can you dance?
I can dance like an idiot.

14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
I think I filled out this survey before! Again, there is no song stuck in my fucking head! Do people normally always have a song stuck in their heads? Wait, don't answer, I already no the answer: They Don't! You are a fucking asshole dipshit that doesn't deserve for me to fill our your worthless survey.

15. Who did you cut and paste this from, and would you make out with them?
Kristyn. I never made out with her, but I kissed her in the past. I probably would make out with her, if I weren't spoken for by my wonderful girlfriend.

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Nobody. I'm the only one with my birthday.

17. Have you ever destroyed someone's property?
Most hobos don't have property, by definition. But, you could say that someone owns their own life, so yes, I destroyed their property, meaning that I killed them. Brutally.

18. Have you ever been in a fight?
Some of the hobos try to defend themselves, and sometimes I have to struggle with them a little before I finally finish the job.

19. Have you ever sang in front of a big audience?
If "sang' is a euphemism for "jerked off," then yes, I've done it a bunch of times.

20. What ATTRACTS YOU TO THE OPPOSITE sex?
Titties.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Goddamnit, the last time I answered this question, I said that not everyone goes to starbucks all the time. Haven't you learned anything, fuckhead? God, you are so fucking stupid.

22. Do you have a crush on one of your myspace friends?
Only the dudes.

23. Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
Why the fuck would I go to the worst country ever?

24. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Everyone has said that.

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
I'm a fucking adult. That being said, I beat off to teletubbies daily.

26. Did you have braces?
No, I'm not a goddamned freak!

27. Are you comfortable with your height?
Not at all! I'm not short! Shut up!

28 Do you consider yourself adventurous?
I licked a girl's butthole. What do you think?

30. What's your favorite smell?
Hobo death.