Archived Blog Oct 19 2006

This survey is fucking retarded. Observe. Current mood: creative

This is The Guilty Game. Next to the questions, put your answers as either guilty or innocent. Guilty if you have, innocent if you haven't. The number of guilties you have, is the number of years in prison you are sentenced to. Re-post with a headline stating how many years in prison you have....

1. Dated outside your race?
Guilty. Just once.

2. Gotten a hickey?
Guilty and then some.

3. Dated your best friend?
That's a big guilty right there.

4. Sung in the shower?
Guilty. Not singing in the shower is gay.

5. Spit in someone's drink?
Innocent! That's something that Hitler would do.

6. Dumped someone?
Guilty and then some.

7. Opened your Christmas presents early?
I'm Jewish you fucking Nazi. Innocent.

8. Lied to a friend?
Guilty again. I'm a horrible person.

9. Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?
Innocent. Not more than ten times. That movie's not even that good.

10. Had more than five REAL(over 4 months) bf/gfs?
Innocent, I guess. I've had a few though.

11. Played a computer game for more than 5 hours?
Guilty. Longer than that.

12. Ran through the sprinklers naked?
Fuck this bullshit question. Innocent.

13. Ate food that fell on the floor?
Guilty. I usually wipe food on the floor before I eat it to give it flavor.

14. Went outside naked?
Guilty. I've been outside naked before.

15. Flashed somebody?
No, I'm a dude. Innocent.

16. Mooned somebody?
Innocent on this one too. No one wants to be subjected to my ass.

17. Been on stage?
Guilty, like a billion times.

18. Made someone cry?
Guilty, like a trillion times.

19. Been in a parade?
Guilty, like ten times.

20. Been in a school play?
Guilty, like one times.

21. Drank a beer?
What, is this a trick question? I'm guilty.

22. Gotten detention?
Guilty on that one.

23. Been on a plane?
This is the 21st century, idiot. Of course I'm guilty.

24. Been on a cruise?
No, I'm not old or gay. Innocent.

25. Broken into a house?
Innocent.

26. Gotten a tattoo?
Tattoos are for faries. Innocent.

27. Gotten piercings?
Guilty as charged, bitch.

28. Cried so hard you threw up?
What? That doesn't happen. Innocent.

29. Gotten into a shouting match?
Guilty.

30. Been skinny dipping?
Guilty.

31. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?
Guilty. Every kid has done this, you fucking imbecile.

32. Laughed so hard it hurt?
What the hell does this cliché even mean? Fuck you! Guilty.

33. Tripped on your own feet?
Guilty.

34. Cried yourself to sleep?
Innocent. What, do I look like a suicide case?

35. Cried in public?
Guilty. I'm a puss puss.

36. Thrown up in public?
Oh yeah. Guilty.

37. Lied to your parents?
Oh yeah. Guilty.

38. Skipped class?
I've been to college, so Guilty.

Now put the number of guilty as years in prison: 25 years. This survey is fucking stupid. Why would I go to prison for being on an airplane?